A little R&R

At long last the summer break without kids is about to start. Even if it is only for a couple days without mine until Dan's come back... Enjoying sitting in the sun, reading a good book and a new found drink. Quite tasty. Much like a red freezy. A little sweet for my usual liking but still palatable. Not even half way through and getting my glow on. Lol What can I say. I'm a cheap date. Lol The ex is supposed to pick up the kids at 5:30 but had suddenly texted that he's stuck in traffic and will be 2 hrs late. Nice! In other words he slept in and hasn't changed a bit. Still the same old lazy man. One day my kids well learn what he's really like. Until then I just keep my mouth shut and play the good mom.  Only 13 more days until the divorce is final.  He'll have the kids until then. Wonder if he'll even show up in court. Not like he's responded to any of my lawyers letters...
Well off to enjoy some more reading and sun...

Back on board...

Well it's been quite sometime since I last wrote and much has changed. Almost completely divorced and lost a total of 70 lbs. Living with a new man and still 5kids...
Unfortunately things haven't been as smooth as one would hope. Eric has fallen into the wrong crowd and drugs leading him down the criminal path and sadly out of my home. Although the kids really miss him,I could not keep him here doing all his stuff while the kids watched and learned. One of the toughest decisions as a parent to make is to send their child out on their own. Especially when you know that he will only get into more trouble. He was bringing drugs into the house and leaving them out where anyone could find them. Reece still put everything in her mouth back then. I swore that I'd never play favorites with my kids but I had to make the defenseless come first. I can only hope that one day Eric will wake up and smell the coffee and get back on the right path. Sadly I think it will be some time before he does so. I've tried to stay in the picture so that he would know that we still loved him but he uses anyone in his life while its convenient and I've had to pull away. Hopefully the younger ones will not make the same mistakes. Dan thinks it will be different as we are always around but I guess time will tell.

Changing my lifestyle

So after  several years of fighting myself with my weight, this past year I finally decided on a lifestyle change.   I figured I'd start out small so that I don't get discouraged.  Simple yet easy diet modifications and voila!!!  I started this new me  on  January of this year and I'm already down 5lbs!  My first goal was to loose 17lbs so I'm only 12 away now!  I've joined fitday dot com to help me keep track of my intake and guess what I soon realised????  I've been sabottaging myself all these years without realising it!  A small bite here and a scoop there!  I knew it all added up but I never realised how much!  I hoping that I keep up my trend till this summer  of loosing 2lbs (or more) per week.  I will be so much more comfortable   in my skin and maybe might even sport a bathing suit!  lol  I'll have so much more energy and be able to do more with the kids.  Couldn't ask for anything better then that.  This so far has all been accomplished with diet alone.  I'm pretty active to begin with so I haven't had to add any intensive workouts just yet.  I figure I'll do this till I plateau then add more and tweek more as I go.  :) 

The "hopefully" new me!!!!

Today is the first day on the road to the new me!!  After all this time and pain, I've finally decided I need to make a change for the better.  Everything points to loosing weight to feel good.  I hate taking pictures.  I hate looking at the pictures that someone has snuck of me.  I hate the way my kids talk about mom being bigger.  I hate not having enough energy to do all the things with the kids.  I hate not being able to move certain ways b/c the fat is in the way.  I WILL do this.  I CAN do this.  Time to get on the band wagon.  It doesn't matter that I don't "look" my weight or that no one believes me when I tell them how much I weigh.  I know what the scale says and I've smelt the coffee!  No more excuses.  No more denial.  Time to start loosing :)  So who's with me???  lol